Gaijin Hunter in Japan – It’s not what you think……..

By Rei Tanotsuka, 1 October 2019

“For if you kill me you will not easily find a successor to me, who, if I may use such a ludicrous figure of speech, am a sort of gadfly, given to the state by God;……..all day long and in all places am always fastening upon you, arousing and persuading and reproaching you. You will not easily find another like me.” The Apology, Plato

There are numerous White Western people who are woke, very much so. I am in awe of them, and read what they write, listen to their presentations or talks on any platform available. They truly and unequivocally attest that race is essentially devoid of meaning.

Life is but a series of actions, assigned a moral value by the inhabitants of a certain place, in a certain time. The following is no where near an exhaustive list, but people like Howard Zinn, Seymour Hersch, John Pilger, Chris Hedges, Abby Martin, Naomi Wolf, Max Blumenthal, Stephen Kinzer, Mark Twain, Adam Garrie et al, all form part of the garrison of truth speakers, who chose to see beyond their mirror reflection, and call out the insouciant manner for dominance,which the West professes a love of engaging in.

Unfortunately, you won’t find ANY of the woke Whites in Japan. Na uh!

So the foreign community in Japan have coined a term for the Japanese who befriend foreigners (read: White English speakers) for the sole purpose of English language acquisition. Gaijin Hunter. Is this a big conflagration of a deal? For me? Nope. For a White Western person. YES! A BIG Lovemaking deal!!

I am the gadfly in spilling the T on the White myth in Asia, and really, it’s a series that could go on ad infinitum! I have been in Japan for almost 2 friggin decades, and I swear to these delicious persimmons on my desk (it’s Autumn now, time for me to turn carotenemic), that the notion of White Saviour, White superiority haven’t even remotely been unsaddled from the arrogant Stallion of Xenophobe.

Around 15 years ago, I worked at place with a very nice American white male boss. He was probably early 50’s back then. This was in the early 2000’s, not exactly a time of roaming T- Rexes preying on herbivores, we already had internet back then, but one day this boss approached me for a ‘chat’. Inorder to bond with me, he started asking whether or not I had ever visited the States, I confessed that I had not.

He then suggested I visit San Francisco. Why? Apparently, I will like it because it has heaps of Chinese people there. This, you realise was completely out of the blue, as in there was no context for this. We weren’t talking anything remotely racial, not origins or even innocent things like cuisine. Just a totally, off the cuff random non sequitur. Ok……by pass a few years.

Same boss, different season. Seeing as I was teaching a batch of glucose spiked 7- 8 year olds, I made them get into line before marching them off to the next class. As I shouted “Come on everyone, chop chop!”, American boss walks past by happenstance and he says “Wow, you are speaking Chinese to the kids!”. I looked at him aghast, I had no idea what he was shooting up his veins but certainly, it ain’t English if he thought chop chop was Chinese! That wasn’t all, no Siree. During the after school meeting, he decided that accusing me of speaking a language I wasn’t, didn’t cut it. He proceeded to ask, oh the odd 40 teachers at the meeting, for the etymology of chop chop, to ‘prove’ that it indeed was Chinese. Turns out that EVERYONE knew it wasn’t.

No! THAT’S not all for the man who didn’t make the Third Reich, but would have, had Hans Schmidt of Oskar Dirlewanger not held the bayonet a fraction closer to the skull for blowing out the brains without shirt splatter, than he did. I would not have lost respect for him in a meaningful way had he not done this next thing, which I’m about to disclose. Dear reader, I don’t want you to think this man was bad, he is not. He, in some ways is very enlightened and has a wonderful disposition, but he is clearly a tad sinophobic without meaning to be.

One Christmas, probably around 8 years ago, he decided to give every kid who attended the school a Christmas gift. This is a noble gesture, but considering the impecunious nature of my boss, leaving it out would probably have been more, shall we say, optimal? He didn’t think so. He wanted to be seen as the Daddy Warbuck of all English language schools, but had the generosity of Ebenezer Scrooge, so we ended up getting 500 die, for 10 cents each, from a Chinese factory that probably employs children (you know, like the ones we had in that school with parents paying over $100 a day for the privilege of getting a 10 cent dice) to manufacture these poor Rubik cube imitations.

Naturally, when the kids got them, they started going crazy, and true to form of any dice that can be sold for 10 cents a piece and still churn a profit, a few broke after a few twists! The bulk of them lasted until home time, a miracle that turned a few atheists at the school into Christians. The thing that aroused a sense of ire in me, is the reply of my boss when asked by the kids on why the die broke. He said “Because they were made in China” , which resulted in peals of laughter.

How unscrupulous to NOT acknowledge the concept of quality concomitant to cost? How disingenuous to not admit to being a cheapskate with a mammoth sized ego for wanting all the sweet accolades with none of the souring moments of compromise? How callous to not mention, that at 10 cents per dice, no other factory in the WORLD could have even made a dice, let alone, make em, pack em and ship em all the way to Japan for tight ass Yanks to claim glory.

My boss is a gaijin hunter. A gaijin hunting for an ego boost from the obsequious Japanese who marvel “Sugoi” (great), when they really mean, “Why are gaijins soooooooo cheap?”

They are using me for my whiteness….. and other conspiracy theories

I had a co worker, female, American, white. She was lovely to a certain degree and we worked together for around 6 years.

Her psychosis was that she thought she was admired simply for being, you guessed it, WHITE. She was in a band, trust me, that isn’t as credible as it sounds, remember this is in Japan. I don’t even know of a Western foreigner who wasn’t a DJ, model, actor, singer in Japan……I’m probably the only one who had enough shame to realise that I if I didn’t have enough ‘talent’ in Australia, it probably translates to no talent in Japan too, but oh no! Not the run of the mill Westerner, suddenly it’s a Beyonce here, a Gigi Hadid there, a Robert de Niro hiding under the stairs……

So she cut an album with her band and decided to use it as corporal punishment for ill behaved kids. Just kidding! She used it as A REWARD!!!! WTF right? Yes, that’s right. Imagine YOUR teacher, cutting some tracks for you to listen to, with yo mates!

The kids who ‘won’ a CD had to get the best score in English class.

People, right up to 2019, as I type, still ask ‘Why can’t Japanese people speak English?’. Maybe, just maybe, I dunno, I haven’t written a peer review report to verify, but with English teachers so socially inept, as to think a student on the cusp of puberty, with a caduceus of sexual frustration and emotional rage, would want a CD from their teaching singing, might just be the little red docket that informs a Kamikazi pilot of his destiny! The kids here would rather sebuku (Traditional Japanese evisceration) than to get a prize which will guarantee them a wedgie from their BFF, a lynching from the neighbourhood if played at home, and consternation from mum who has told Akira repeatedly, to quit torturing cats!

My coworker had another exasperating trait, she would self compliment, ‘they are so jealous because I stand out’, self psycho analyse ‘you see, they want to invite me to their wedding so they appear cool for having white friends…’, self reflect, ‘I just want to have real friends, like when I first came here I had to talk to everyone to learn Japanese, and now I’m sick and tired of being friends with gaijin hunters who just want to get free English lessons. Pay me, bitch!’

My coworker is a gaijin hunter. She hunts the Japanese to give her free Japanese lessons, ego boosts for her non existent music career and a platform to vociferate her uncontested physical beauty to Japanese who only look at her askance and not in admiration.

Spiritual Hunter….Gaijin style

This trauma took place yesterday, as in 29 September 2019.

So once a month, because the menstrual cycle is not enough of an impediment to my emotional well being, I pick myself off my bed and go to a spiritual class. Ostensibly to meditate and find equanimity in a world rife with angst due to karmic debt which I may or may not have incurred, but sure as hell, don’t remember.

It started off this way, with the best of intentions. My spiritual teacher now, used to be my coworker. Karma. We worked in a big group, a United Colours of Benetton campaign of teachers. To read the catastrophe that went down there https://asianstraightshooter.com/2019/08/lifes-mirror/

In the beginning, it was a lovely relationship, built on a mutual appreciation of esoteric philosophies of spirituality, meditation and significance, what Jung would call synchronicity. Then I suffered the loss of a pet, and my co worker, let’s call him Paul Smith, consoled me with a poignant letter about the ephemeral nature of life.

Then he asked me to join his spiritual class. That first class was inspiring, it really was an uplifting, sacred and beautiful experience. Only the 3 of us, an African, an Australian and a Canadian. I then resolved to learn from Paul, and put another monthly event in my cycle. LOL

Then 6 months ago, the class grew a little, from 3 people to around 5 and that’s when Paul’s spiritual ego, became very earthy, down right pitiful and typical.

What made these initial classes cathartic, was the freedom to simply have a discourse about spirituality coupled with our real life events. It is only this way, that things can possibly make sense. But not now. Now that there was an audience, Paul wanted to perform, he needed to dominate.

This spiritual belief is based entirely on Eastern theology but perverted to a Western White inner master now. The original formless divine source, now comes in mainly white, with a token black thrown in for diversity……you know, like a ‘Most Beautiful Women’ list in the West! https://asianstraightshooter.com/2019/07/list-of-the-50-most-gorgeous-women-in-the-world-2019/

Paul, if placed on the white male hierarchy would definitely be scaling the bottom, a confirmed beta, with his slight build, quiet reserved voice with no resonance and glasses. In the group of 13 teachers at my ex job, he was diminutive, reticent and rarely voiced his opinion. In the spiritual class yesterday of 9 Asian looking women, 1 Asian man and a token black fella? He was ALPHA!

Even from 6 months ago, he began to unleash an ego I didn’t anticipate. During a normal discussion, he cut me off mid way. I genuinely felt attacked because we had always had free flowing discourses. I stopped going for 6 months, but decided to return yesterday to see if things had changed.

Nope, he did it again. During this class I basically did not say much, even when he turned to me and asked. Finally, I thought I would share a dream I had the previous night and Paul snaps ‘can you make it quick?’

I wanted to make a scene and say ‘STFU nerd’, but refrained because I wanted to see the interaction between Paul and the African guest speaker, which was the main event.

In 2 hours, the African guy was only allowed 15 minutes of grace, but all throughout his presentation? Paul sat at the back, translating English to the Japanese students IN ENGLISH!!! WTF right? Damn straight!

Paul just could not, for the life of him, ameliorate his desire to be SMACK BANG, centre of attention. The African guy kept giving him sideways glances, hoping to curtail his insolence but to no avail. Finally, a Japanese woman who is married to a British guy, who has ample experience of putting White men in their place, pipes out ‘Paul, be quiet, we are trying to listen to Mark!’

My soon to be ex spiritual teacher is a gaijin hunter. He hunts for Japanese people to bestow the alpha male latent in him, which comprises only 10% of his genetic makeup, but in Japan can be juiced up 50%! Amazing! Results start from the first step off the plane!

The next time you hear the catchphrase of GAIJIN HUNTER, quickly quip, ‘Oh yes, that’s when White people go to Japan to try to be a version of themselves they wish to be back home!’