By Rei Tanotsuka, 9 February 2022
When ya got it, ya gotta flaunt it! And Eileen Gu has it in SPADES!
Yep, the girl with the million dollar face and billionaire dollar talent, was willing to forsake her American passport to represent China in the 2022 Beijing Olympics though she didn’t have to.
The point is, SHE WAS WILLING TO!
Naturally all the pro West pundits are calling her out for lack of patriotism to a country that has historically persecuted half of Gu’s lineage. I mean we don’t even have to go back far, San Francisco police data shows violence against Asians rose a whopping 567%, from 2020-2021! Here, let me sum up what white America expects from its Asian kids:
“Let us blame a natural virus on you, and wantonly beat the stuffing outta ya because WE FAIL to compete economically, academically and technologically. BUT should you ever have the innate brilliance to be at the top of your game, CREDIT US as doting parents who gave you life, love and liberty!”
I’m glad Gu, in all her cosmopolitan elan told America to fuck right off! Does America today still think it was the America of yesteryear? The yank’s global brainwashing days ARE OVER!
Gu isn’t the first, and she definitely won’t be the last. Preceding her in relinquishing a western passport for an eastern one, is Naomi Osaka.
Then we have Brandon Yip, a fourth generation Canadian Chinese ice hockey veteran also doing a switcheroo and joining the Chinese team for the Olympics. As he says “We’re just really excited to finally be here and be on this stage (to) make China proud.”.
So, what’s the big deal?
The big deal is, it has always been the OTHER way around. Asians have long pined for the West’s recognition, believing that local accolades do not rival the prestige of the Western applause. Get a Lifetime Achievement Award from an Asian institute? No bragging rights to that! You need a WHITE MAN’S OSCAR to validate your worth!
Action man Jackie Chan has been snagging up awards in Asia from the 90s onwards, yet he felt he had “arrived” only when he finally got his Oscar.
It matters little when Asian peers eulogize you as a living cinematic deity, you still want to relegate yourself to that of a newbie and take attitude from your American co star just to break into their market. Here’s Chris Tucker regaling his lovely work ethic when filming with Chan in Rush Hour – being perpetually late and not bothering to learn his lines! Do you honestly think an Asian comedian who landed a deal with Chan would do likewise? Hell no! There would be deference for his legendary status in the entertainment industry, and simple respect for him AS A HUMAN BEING to not make tardiness a daily ritual.
As for Chan going “with the flow” regarding Tucker’s amateur working style? I guarantee you, if Tucker was a Chinese actor, the wrath of Chan would manifest not only in the termination of his role in the movie, but the punk would have sealed his acting fate in a tomb! However, because Tucker is an American and Chan wants the white applause, he sucks it up and pretends it’s OK for a legend to wait for a shit kicker.
The ugly Asian finally gets replaced with a beautiful one?
The Asians in the West who are brave enough to take a stand and wave the Asian flag thus far, have mainly been biracial. Now DON’T MISUNDERSTAND my point, I’m not implying that they are in any way less worthy or credible.
What I am saying is that the non biracial Asians STILL lack the bravado to do so. The exceptions like Sarah Jeong who call out obvious Western media antics, “Dumbass f—ing white people marking up the internet with their opinions like dogs pissing on fire hydrants,”, eventually “decide” to leave their high clout editorial positions because of the backlash.
The Asians who don’t have one non Asian parent are still too awkward and timid to vociferously declare “I’d rather be seen as (your brand of Asian), than American/ Australian/ Canadian etc”. Why? Because they fear the ridicule, stigma and the association of the colonial indoctrinated mindset that Asians are inferior.
Those who have one white parent can exercise the contingency of having a “dream” to represent the other part of their heritage. A full blooded Asian, especially if they are Chinese making the same remark? Heresy! “Chinese SPY! Kick ’em outta the country!”. The fury subsides only when their story becomes the casus belli for propaganda wars, ie. pitting Zhu Yi against Eileen Gu.
This is why we get Asian dickheads like this guy who thinks it’s “funny” to stereotype Asians (to escape his own persecution), but dare not mock the EXACT SAME TRAIT IN WHITE PEOPLE!
If you want to counter my argument by claiming comedy is just for shits and giggles, well, let’s see how White people react to stereotypes of themselves. They can’t take ANY form of insolence joke or otherwise!
Here’s Tony Hinchliffe going apeshit at Peng Dang for making jokes at the White man’s expense, but guess what? Dang’s jokes are SO TAME and not even remotely offensive in the way of buck tooth, slant eye, accented “flied lice” jokes White people have been spitting on Asians for decades! Trust me, Hinchliffe wasn’t just ribbing Dang, he was unequivocally LIVID at him for saying that Chinese kids are industrious, while American kids not so much due to excessive parental praise! He was so vexed, he practically screamed at the audience for their unpatriotic laughter at Dang’s highly humourous, but very PG jokes!
Hinchliffe is another frangible white ego who can only dish it out, but can’t stand to be served!
So if the VERY PEOPLE advocating for you to crap all over your looks and culture for the sake of humour, throw a seismic hissy fit when you jokingly point out their lenient parenting methods, WHY ARE YOU NOT CALLING OUT THE HYPOCRISY?
Why not tell them to chill the fuck out, and find the “humour” in US pointing out THEIR “raucous” gravity obeying jowls at the tender age of 25? Ask why they don’t guffaw when we as coloured people quibble, “Oh I’ll never say I have an oily T zone in America, because my asshole ain’t lubed enough to become a puppet.”?
When white becomes more yellow than you, you’re SCREWED!
Oh, you don’t know who Happy and Bee are? Well, they are the offspring of Jim Rogers, a millionaire measuring in the hundreds of millions, and guess what? These two lollypop dolls ARE FLUENT MANDARIN SPEAKERS! They are fully bilingual in every sense of the term – reading, writing, speaking and even bloody tongue twisting! Oh, and you know how we try to be white by calling ourselves Elizabeth Anne Wong? IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND NOW! The eldest daughter Happy, is known as KUAI LE, in addition to Hilton Augusta Rogers. Yes, she’s as Chinese as Sunday yumcha with the fam!
My confession: I speak fluent Cantonese and can read Japanese short stories (lol). Don’t ask me why I’m so messed up, I just am because of circumstances. The good news is I’m old, and happiness to me is akin to the sword of Damocles, hence I don’t need to hustle alongside the above two kiddies. My linguistic defects won’t affect my life anymore, it will however, affect you if you are a Gen Z. They are YOUR COMPETITION in the pursuit of moolah!
Meanwhile, white worshipping Asians STILL think it’s a badge of HONOUR to claim that they CAN’T READ, WRITE OR SPEAK an Asian language! I’ve always been very proud to be bilingual, and now am attempting to add Japanese to my language repertoire. However some of my Aussie Asian friends are PURE CRINGE. They even pretended to not know how to use chopsticks (back when I was a kid, aka Early Jurassic era), all done in a vain attempt to be seen as a bona fide AUSSIE. Pathetic is an understatement considering how many white Aussies ACTUALLY USE CHOPSTICKS perfectly.
Happy and Bee are not the only ones who have parents prescient enough to know that Mandarin is the language of the future. Here’s the celebrity batch where skill allegiance is based on what extracts the maximum number of coins, and the linguistic skill for the 21st Century is Mandarin.
We now have many in the West jumping on the bandwagon and littering interviews with a little bit of Mandarin. Everyone from Australia’s ex PM Kevin Rudd to British actress Vanessa Branch all claim to be fluent Mandarin speakers.
Even the meatheads are getting in on the action! Here’s John Cena plugging WWE in concussed Mandarin.
So you STILL think playing the “I’m white at heart” game is cool? Go home boomer! Gen Z likes Asia!
There definitely was time when us Western raised Asians were the latest flash gadgets. Going all the way back to the Maggie Q days in Hong Kong cinema, being the returnee Asian who could barely squeak out a “ni hao” seemed exotic, cute even. Now? You’re just culturally astigmatic, too white beaten to see the glaring Eastern sun rise, desperately chasing after a street light in the Western dusk. If you still think trying to pass for a white when you’re a Wong is all rage, you’re in for a rude awakening!
It’s no longer on trend to play the banana airhead when a ginger goddess and her mum belts out “The moon represents my heart” in perfect Mandarin! To snag the crown these days, you need to overcome Asia’s white worshipping proclivities WITH WHITE PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE THAN WILLING TO CATER TO ASIAN SENSIBILITIES. They sing our songs, eat our food and know our culture better than us! So you continue your game of faux Asian pride, using all the talking points white people taught you to say, while your white counterpart once again rides the crest of a wave, proving that Asians will never be number one irrespective of us checking off the rubrics on the success list.
Once again, it took the West to put us on the map (emotionally)!
Do you know the power of being eye candy? Looks can change opinions. That’s the gravitational pull of the bangable. Before long you’ll see young Asian girls EVERYWHERE downloading Duolingo, index finger furiously clicking “Chinese”, vying to be next girl who can mimic the suave moves of an Olympic snow princess. Where the girls go, the boys swiftly follow.
Yes Gu is a boon to Chinese language and culture, but most importantly, and this is the point America is most anathema about, she will be one of the first to make people fall in love with China. This is the bane of America’s existence.
But the US did get her wish. She has long told her Asian kids to “Go back to where you came from!”, SO THEY DID!